Mom Talks about Dad and Other Things

Mom: You know, your dad told me that when he dies he wants me to have fun.

Me: *nodding my head* Thinking, 'of course that is what my dad would say he is just so freaking awesome like that'.

Mom: He really said that... I was still back home at the time and we were talking on the phone. He said he wants me to have fun... but you know what I told him? I told him that if he wanted me to have fun then he should have died when I was 20! Not now when I am 60 and I don't have the energy to do anything!

Me: (laughing) you really said that?

Mom: Yeah, I still didn't think he was going to die then... I just didn't believe it.

Me: I know... none of us wanted to believe it.

Mom: I don't care what you all say... your dad had a fucking good life. So you just need to stop being sad. We're all gonna die.

Mom: I always said your dad was a shitty husband but a good father. He loved you guys more than anything. God, it used to make me sick how much he loved you guys.

Mom: The only time your dad was happy and relaxed is when you guys were all home and the door was locked.

Mom: You know, they say that when one spouse dies the other shortly follows. God, I hope I am not next.

Me: (laughing) mom, I think you are thinking of the film The Note Book. Don't worry, I don't think you are going anywhere any time soon.

Mom: I better not. I am not done living yet.

Mom: Shit man I hope when I die it's quick. They say that when you die of a heart attack that it's fucking painful, but at least it's for a short amount of time and then you're dead.

Me: Yeah mom, this is exactly the conversation I wanna be having right now.

Mom: *Chuckles* Well, I'm just saying.